Dealing with the manipulators And OCDs

Heyloooo! 

It's not easy when you’re on the receiving end of aggression.

I took little excerpts from a psychology magazine. I hope this helps!

The manipulator deliberately creates an imbalance of power, and exploits the victim to serve his or her agenda.With the intention to seize power, control, benefits, and privileges at the victim’s expense.

One way :

One way to detect a manipulator is to see if a person acts with different faces in front of different people and in different situations. While all of us have a degree of this type of social differentiation, some psychological manipulators tend to habitually dwell in extremes, being highly polite to one individual and completely rude to another—or totally helpless one moment and fiercely aggressive the next. 

Keep distance :

When you observe this type of behavior from an individual on a regular basis, keep a healthy distance, and avoid engaging with the person unless you absolutely have to.

manipulation are complex and deep-seated. It is not your job to change or save them.

Self check :

• Am I being treated with genuine respect?
• Are this person’s expectations and demands of me reasonable?
• Is the giving in this relationship primarily one way or two ways?
• Ultimately, do I feel good about myself in this relationship?

Your answers to these questions give you important clues about whether the “problem” in the relationship is with you or the other person.

Self HELP :

So how do you shoo them ?

• “Does this seem reasonable to you?”
• “Does what you want from me sound fair?”
• “Do I have a say in this?”
• “Are you asking me or telling me?”
• “So, what do I get out of this?”
• "Are you expecting me to do this?"

When you ask such questions, you’re putting up a mirror, so the manipulator can see the true nature of his or her ploy.

Truly pathological manipulators (such as a narcissist) will dismiss your questions and insist on getting their way. If this occurs, apply ideas from the following tips to keep your power, and halt the manipulator

the manipulator will often also expect an answer from you right away, to maximize their pressure and control over you in the situation.

You can win the situation simply by saying:

“I’ll think about it.”

Meanwhile , you will see the pros and cons of a situation, and consider whether you want to negotiate a more equitable arrangement, or if you’re better off by saying “no,” 

Know How To Say “No”―Diplomatically But Firmly

Remember that your fundamental human rights include the right to set your own priorities, the right to say “no” without feeling guilty, and the right to choose your own happy and healthy life.

Set consequences :

When a psychological manipulator insists on violating your boundaries, and won’t take “no” for an answer, deploy consequence.

The manipulative individuals have four common characteristics:

1. They know how to detect your weaknesses.
2. Once found, they use your weaknesses against you.
3. Through their shrewd machinations, they convince you to give up something of yourself in order to serve their self-centered interests.
4. In work, social, and family situations, once a manipulator succeeds in taking advantage of you, he or she will likely repeat the violation until you put a stop to the exploitation.