Racing Rabbit - Social Media

Back with some poetry

Yes social media had found her

Had come to infect her.

Living had become a pendulum 

She now welcomed the swing of it

She admitted the fact that she was drawn towards it

She liked the likes that  used to crackle her like magic

She could not put her mind off social media 

even though she didn't trust the people there

She knew being rich on instagram was like being rich in monopoly . Useless.

We hold the smartphone aim by our fingertips 

We aim At ourselves 

We shoot ourselves

Erase our blemishes

Post it on social media 

Wait for likes and comments 

Social media can sometimes

be distressing 

Because everything I chose to share should always be impressive 

Clearing your exam shoots the likes number to sixty four

When you fail 

There is nothing but a silent seashore 

We join social media

Thinking will be taken care of by the friendly crew

And you hope to see something  new

I know people whom Ive never met

Never heard from my mom nor from my dad

I know people of whom I've never read in my books nor in any newspapers

Distance is no match for these machines
Each of us has been infected by the disease

My parents taught to me to talk to people like raindrops one by one in an order 

Not all at once like a cold shower

I observe what they say

I like what they write

I comment on what they post 

I religiously receive their notifications like a pleasant host 

I listen to them more than my parents

Follow their rules more than my shariah

Thats the impact the social media has on you  and duniya.

Feeling proud about wearing hijab

Asserting the need to grow a beard and not a moustache 

Pleasing your better half more than any other human

These are things my mum would never say

Had it not been the social media to keep my apprehensions at bay

Be it the sunnah I left behind with my childhood in the madarsa

Or the revival of soul that often catches rust with time 

Social media has definitely helped me  fall , rise and revive.

Yes , it has helped some low lying businesses thrive

Taught girls to beautify themselves and place hijab on the standby

The fanciest ways to wear hijab 

From hoojab , turban or or a winged eye

Propagated a temptation in me that it's okay to pout with your pancake on as long as you have the one metre long head pack

Yes they helped me to make my self obsession public

Made me jealous about the luxuries my sister in Islam has

Made me stress over the worldly luxury in my duas

See my friends , social media is a place of knowledge and hypocrisy

Stand against an icon and you face no mercy.

Its a great place to chat and share

Curating and blogging can also be done 

If you have ample time to spare

Wedding diaries #bff

Hey people!

Wasting no more time ... Here we go

After a full fledge wedding week...

Tattoos because henna is for THE DAY

Here is buttercup with bubbles ( POWERPUFF GIRLS ) #hyderabadi #shaadis 

You always have that one under 5 kid with a questionnaire targetting the bride

The UNAWARE #littleWonder #aliceInShaadiLand

#sittingDown #desiNess #PreNikahSetting

#ok #greatToys #haffun

#GoodBye #Bride but Let me take a selfie

#TheRobinHoodGang #Loot #GulabGang #kidsOnAMission #taareZameenPar

#BindassBride #touchUpTime

 

#ComplanGirl

#MisriTime #IAintHavingIt 

QUBOOL HAI MOMENT #Nikah #bride #sign

So far so much

Want Candid pictures 

Invite me to have Biryani and you get these free of cost😋 

Just kidding! 

Have a nice day

Glare immunity

Hello people ,

These days I have acquired partial immunity to the weird glares I  receive , thanks to the loudness I carry . No matter how loud others get, I am still the loudest and that explains the stares, doesn’t it?! Hahaha! You just can't help certain things , right ?

My emotional quotient might fluctuate but my volume remains constant.

 

 Sometimes it's a bat glare , sometimes immune glare . Sunglasses please ! 

Hahahaha !

Buh bye !

Bachelorette's Pro

Hey! 

Before you get on to any conclusions with the title . I'd tell you , dear it's about the Merry Bachelorette Life you have before 25 . Later , what changes ? Most your friends are not single . Even if  you are youngest of your siblings or the oldest of them all you will be the only single one . Yes , believe it or don't . But then, majority of the world's population is single. So if you are the only one who's single among your friends, you're not the outsider. 

For girls in my city, marrying is like reaching the delayed milestone. They are all extremely exhilarated.Being a singleton gives you the perspective of an outsider while judging someone's relationship. What you see and feel about them will make you differentiate between reality and fantasy.

Why am I writing about this shit ? When my blog is about my freaky imagination . Because I am from an all women's medical school . Surrounded by 100 ladies in a lecture theatre all of the ripe old age of 21/22 . All are spinsters except for one . Yes , everybody is eagerly waiting for there Prince Charming , or Mr. Richie Rich , Mr. Smart , Mr. Clever . 

What am I upto? Haha! Observing them . What about my choice and preferences?

Things have changed over a decade . So , have the thoughts . There has been a tremendous drift in the thoughts , money , personality and economics . In good old days , a guy who has an inherited property was considered a lottery ticket , over the years the focus shifted to a guy who has government job and no gai, then a guy who lives overseas away from his parents. These days , the breakups the guys has had from his school / college life. Next years it will be loyalty and less morbidity .

So , what do I do ? Since my childhood I had my roll number set last . Like 63 or 49 , even now it's 98 . So , the advantage? You have heard all the problems the girls who faces the examiner ahead of you faced . You are mentally prepared . The next question you may pop up is not all men are same . But then out of 100 you get to hear about the major TYPES available in the market.

These days ,What's horrifying is, most relationships end when partners' feelings for each other change over time.

So the following are the pros of getting married a little late or very late

1. Copy Moves

After all that’s what we did all our life, copying homework from our friend was any-day easier than doing it ourselves.

2. Know what you deserve

Get yourself grounded . Miss Beautiful wanted a rich NRI so chose a not so charming prince instead. Miss nerdo wanted a fair complexioned guy so that she has fair skinned kids then she chose a not so wealthy fellow.

3. To check

Dear bride, it's like a classroom. No one wants to sit on the first bench, it’s just like that. We may or may join you later . But as of now , we like to sit behind and observe you. What makes the the teacher appreciate you , makes you her pet ? What call up for a thrashing? You know certain things can be avoided by mere examples .

4. Finances

Yes ,we all want to splurge on our THE DAY . But , we all gotto know , how much is too much ? What makes my daddy run to banks for loans and what could save him from doing so? Like the flowers decorum at the house which was uninvited. The heavy set up at the terrace that went to dogs because it rained .

5. Jewellery 

The jewellery purchase , I think is the most integral part in Indian weddings , especially the daughters part . So , how do you begin shopping with a gold necklace or emerald one , a ring may be? 

You got the same ring . But you don't have enough earrings? Your friend will guide you through .

6. Clothes

The uncalled Saturn netted suits that costs ₹4-5000 is uncalled. Or the heavily embroidered saree which you are going to sport for not more than one wedding , if you are lucky . Your friend will tell you about the discounts , the over splurging .

7.Venue

In a city like Hyderabad , you have rents of venues ranging from ₹30k-400,000 . Your parents want it in a budget . You want it all plush . So , when you attend a series of your besties weddings . You which is economical. You know the best catering service . You know everything.

8. Emotional stability

To see how the girl is keeping fine after moving on to a new place away from her parents place.

9.Balance

How she balances works and play . Her family , his family.

10. Adjustment

What if he snores out loud? What if he farts loud when asleep or may be a stinky fart when he is around ? What if you find the commode is unflushed ? What if he is into constant nose picking ? What if he is a rash driver? What if ? Ok. I think I made you quite nervous . These were just the problems. But your friends could help you find solutions.

11.Oops!

As a Medico , I take the liberty to talk about these. The next move , when the protection goes awry.

12. Secrets

Told him about your crush? Told his mother that you are a really bad chef? Or he overheard you complaining about him to your mom? There are many more accidents that often occur. Secrets are meant to be kept . Disclosed only on appropriate time , before appropriate people. Your friends' bloopers will let you know what secrets could leave your life in splits .

13. Beauty

That laser treatment which was detrimental . That lipstick which was hot. The unnecessary splurge on the nail polish. You know what facial works and what doesn't . Out of the 100 odd , atleast 2 are of your skin type.

14. No Aping

The major thing you get to learn from others wedding is your life is neither DDLJ or Band Baaja Baraat that everything will fall into place . From the caterer to the electricity board people. Everybody knocks your door with some issue or the other.

Do not try to ape other couples or set unreal expectations. Live in the moment.

15. Menstrual cycle

Yes , it's a regular customer . You are lucky enough.Ask the married ones . How it affects their moods , days  and lives!

16.Freebird 

You are free. You don't have to introduce someone next to you , to everybody you meet . Nor do you have to attend a strangers wedding like an obligation. You don't have to worry of your underarm hair  have grown over a little.

It feels great to show the world that you're with the one you love but it doesn't solve your problems. There is only so much your partner can do to support you. To be stable, one needs to be independent and self sufficient.

The notion of being attracted to your polar opposite sounds like every marriage we have seen, but marrying someone with similar interests ensures a life that's based on friendship.

Will add up more

Till then 

Dig your nose into your books

Kbye

Growing Stronger - Mentally

Hi!

If you are doing this , you haven't conquered it all . You are losing inside . We often hear advice like, "Think positive, and good things will happen," or, "Try your hardest, and eventually things will work out." These well-meaning suggestions won't help you reach your goals if you're simultaneously engaging in unhealthy behavior.  Recognizing and replacing the unhealthy thoughts, behaviors, and feelings that may be sabotaging your best efforts is the key to building mental strength.

In addition to adopting healthy habits, avoiding detrimental habits—like negative thoughts, unproductive behavior, and self-destructive emotions—is also essential.

     Don't :

 

1. Waste Time Feeling Sorry 

2. Give Away Their Power : It can be very tempting to blame other people for our problems and circumstances.

3. Shy Away From Change :

Learning to recognize when you avoid change because of the discomfort involved in doing something new could be the first step in a long journey toward improving your life. The more you practice tolerating the uncomfortable feelings associated with change

4. Waste Energy on Things They Can't Control

5.Worry About Pleasing Others

A lot of people say, "I don't care what other people think," but often that's a defense mechanism meant to shield them from the hurt and pain associated with rejection. People-pleasers come in all forms. Sometimes you can spot one a mile away and at other times, their fear of angering others is deeply rooted. Doing and saying things that may not be met with favor takes courage, but living a truly authentic life requires you to live according to your values, even when your choices aren't popular.

6. Fear Taking Calculated Risks

we often base our choices on our emotions, not the true level of risk.learning how to accurately calculate risk will ensure you're making the best choices.

7. Dwell on the Past

While reflecting on the past and learning from it is a helpful part of building mental strength, ruminating can be harmful.

8. Make the Same Mistakes Over and Over

Learning from our mistakes requires humility and a willingness to look for new strategies to become better. Mentally strong people don't hide their mistakes or make excuses for them. Instead they turn their mistakes into opportunities for self-growth.

9. Resent Other People's Success

10. Give Up After Failure

11. Fear Alone Time

Many people avoid silence and solitude because the lack of activity feels uncomfortable. But time to yourself is an essential component to building mental strength. Mentally strong people create opportunities to be alone with their thoughts, reflect on their progress, and create goals for the future.

12. Feel the World Owes Them Anything

13. Expect Immediate Results

We often grow so accustomed to our "no lines, no waiting" world, that our brains begin to believe that everything should happen instantaneously. But self-growth develops at more of a snail's pace, rather than at lightning speed. Whether you're trying to lose weight or develop a more gracious attitude, slow and steady wins the race and expecting immediate results will only lead to disappointment. Mentally strong people know that true change takes time and they're willing to work hard to see results.

 everyone has the ability to build mental strength. But to do so, you need to develop self-awareness about the self-destructive thoughts, behaviors, and feelings that prevent you from reaching full potential .

Kbye 

Perks of being married from a bachelorette's point of view

IHi deviyo (assuming this is a girly post) 

Jumping to the points without being loquacious .

1. You get a 24x7 driver .

There is absolutely no need to hire a rickshaw/ cab . Wait for daddy , the dearest or beg your brother with all possible goodies offers. No 8pm board on your gate. 

2. No pleadings and proceedings .

And yeah , no more Mumma please let me go please , all my buddies will be coming! 

After you are married , your mum would be like Ja Simran ,Ja .

3. Unlimited spa.

That organic facial , the chocolate wax , the detan , the laser YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL babes! The monthly 4digit bills at spa become a routine . Unlimited pampering per se.

4. Unlimited talk time plans.

As a newly wed , your husband would obviously want to talk to you . Your mum will be on her toes with her advices to face the trivial daily chores . Your friends calling up . Nobody accounts to your telephone bill.

5. Cosmetic splurge .

Mac or maybelline any lipstick is good as long as it enhances your looks. Nobody minds if you sport tonnes of foundation . You are INN the league . The red lipstick is vogue anytime , anywhere once you are married .

6. Guilty indulgence.

Gobbling entire tray of Ferraro rocher without any guilt of gaining weight. You are married , who cares. 

7. Attention 

Every sarcastic line against your in- law is a celebrated joke at your place. 

8. Queen Bee

You are Mrs.KnowItall in your clique.

9. Expensive haute

You wear it everyday , just because you are married.

10. Guest of honour

Everybody wants to meet you . His friends, relatives even neighbour . His sister's classmates , the universe. You are invited to innumerable parties serving you the best of their receipes.

11. Fancy hosiery

Do I say more ?

12. Heels

If he is even 3 inch taller than you , then you have no reason to dump those stilletos from Steve Maddinson or those peep-toe from JiMmy choo!

13. Pampering

From 360• degrees

14.  Social aunty

No more giving your name , age , qualification to the marriage broker cum friendly aunties . Oh aunty , I am good . This haircut is inn , aaah this dress ? My husband likes it this way. *chop of the century*. The married women face less rapid fire queries than the singles (ready to mingle) women do.

15. Gifts

Gadgets , gold , cosmetics . Name it and you have it under gift wrap . 

16. Superstar for a day

The red carpet , the Dias , the dream car ( can be rented also ) , the horse , the hero (ok ... Lol.. Ok ok ) , the band , the music , a sidekick to help you . You get everything . A videographer who records even the blink of your eye . How much ever the rest of the cast and crew try they are captured like fierce carnivores tearing the meat into pieces . 

17. Everyday is a shopping day

From the day of engagement till you buy your kid's school uniform . Shopping is just inevitable.

18. Long Drives

The name is enough.

Will add more soon ... 

Till then peep into your hefty books

Kbye

Group discussion

Hey!

Time for intellectual stuff people . Time to get going. 

Today I have collected excerpts from a topic read commonly with little or no application . 

Group discussion .  

A boon for the shy . A sword for the blabbering machine . 

If you are sarcastic , Your words really sting like a bee. While at your end it looks like you were just being playful.

You might think that it's important for you to sound intelligent or funny, but a group conversation in most social situations is a mess.

what sometimes bothers people about chaotic, boisterous group conversations is that they feel they could have been something else, but they weren't.

-They could have been more polite and organized, but they weren't. 

-They could have been more intellectual and stimulating, but they weren't. 

-They could have been quiet and easy to follow, but they weren't. 

-The other people could have let you get a word in edgewise, but they didn't.

Remember : 

-Group discussions is a pool full of splashing kids, having a good time, so take off the floaties and dive in.

-Group discussions are vortex of noise and chaos.

-Everyone is interrupting each other, people are talking at the same time, and the topic will constantly change.

-You're probably not going to have any in-depth, philosophical debates.

Pitch :

A  big group conversation at a party or other social event will be loud and boisterous. 

--In one to one conversations ,

Lower your voice in tone and volume and use physicality to help show that you have something that needs to be heard. 

The trick is to speak deeply, in a low voice which has a certain resonance, and to do this without reflecting nervousness. This communicates to other people that you have confidence in the value of your words and you expect them to listen to you.

The art of interruption: 

A group conversation is war. You need to know when to be civil, but you also need to know when to strike.  

--Keep things light, apologize, and use humor to disarm them if you're able.

---When others try to interrupt you, pick your battles. If you feel like you were saying something sort of important-or really wanted to get to a funny part of a story-say that you'd like to finish your thought. 

Let your posture do the talking :

-Avoid crossing your arms, constantly looking down, fidgeting, and looking around for no particular reason. 

--Maintaining non-creepy eye contact and nodding occasionally can help show that you really are listening. 

---Now, the hard part: really listen. 

----Try not to zone out or start formulating your own response while somebody else is talking, especially if it's obvious that they're including you in the conversation.

P

Position of your SEAT matters :

It's easier to be left out of the conversations if you're sitting at the end of the table. 

Sit near the center, jump into the circle, and face the majority of the group whenever possible. If it looks like you're not a part of the conversation, then you won't be.

Positioning yourself near the center not only puts you in the middle of the conversation flow, but also subliminally reinforces that you're central to the discussion at hand.

.

Pep-up pepper

Hola!

Today should be a pepup day ! So here are some of my quotes , some from my friends blog (plagiarism eh?) others quotes , everybody else's quotes.

Self deprecation leads to so many masterpieces thrown away.Mine is not a masterpiece but is definitely not a trash either to be canned!- maria

I don't write to please people . It's just like my cerebral motility has gone awry  and I need to flush away the junk stored therein. So here is my cerebral commode (no offence). -maria

I try to catch as many thoughts as possible which move in Brownian movement like cell membrane particles and then write whatever it is because I want to  and that is the sole reason.

-maria

I don't dare to compare with  other writers. I some times do but then I am get lost in the world of verbiage , formality , long descripts , which are just not my thing. It’s stupid to do so actually ! 6+3=9 so is 5+4 The way you do things is not the ONLY way to do them . Respect other people's way of thinking . We are all YOU-Nick. The minute you wish you wrote like that person is the minute you lose your individuality.-maria

 The mind of a writer can be a truly terrifying thing. Isolated, neurotic, caffeine addled, crippled by procrastination, consumed by feelings of panic, self-loathing and soul-crushing inadequacy… and that’s on a good day. 

Robert De Niro (via maxkirin)

 I slept and I dreamed that life is all joy. I woke and I saw that life is all service. I served and I saw that service is joy. 

-

Gibran Khalil Gibran

 There are two things we should always be 1. raw and 2. ready. When you are raw, you are always ready and when you are ready you usually realize that you are raw. Waiting for perfection is not an answer, one cannot say “I will be ready when I am perfect” because then you will never be ready, rather one must say “I am raw and I am ready just like this right now, how and who I am. 

C. JoyBell C. (via observando)

Kbye

Resurrection

Salam!

How will our state be on the day of resurrection?  It scares the heck out of me.

*Calm and happy? Less likely

 *Afraid and worried? Most likely

- In regrets for having lived without fulfilling the purpose..

~lost in the glamor 

~taking our pictures forgetting that the pictures are haram 

~editing our pictures to make our selves look better 

~not paying heed to the reality that our creator made us perfect...

₹ What about the everlasting reality of the Hereafter ? 

₹Or in sorrow having read dozens of books (revising Davidson is a big deal) but leaving The [QURAN] Shareef untouched ? 

₹ wishing to get some more time?

₹ Or still wishing to earn some more money

👍 Or may be Some more likes on Facebook/Instagram ?

Kbye

 

Passive Aggression

Hola my ladies ! 

Exams are running the windmill these days . All the super slim girls are turning bodacious and rhetorical . Anger , frustration and depression however top the menu. Nightmares about not clearing your exams are yet some of spices of the season . 

Behavioural changes are a common phenomena . Passive aggression, you know what it is? In situations where two in a group are about to have a head on collision with one another , the other suddenly ceases midway saying WHATEVER ! Just to avoid making things  worse . Or when you say , Mumma I am going to bed just in a minute to avoid the war of words . This all adds up to passive aggression ... 

When procrastination is not an option, a more sophisticated passive aggressive strategy is to carry out tasks in a timely, but unacceptable manner. For example:

A student hands in sloppy homework

A husband prepares a well-done steak for his wife, though he knows she prefers to eat steak rare

An employee dramatically overspends his budget on an important project.  In all of these instances, the passive aggressive person complies with a particular request, but carries it out in an intentionally inefficient way. When confronted, he defends his work, counter-accusing others of having rigid or perfectionist standards. 

The more I went reading about this , the more I had the delusion of reference. Only to realise that my acts of clumsiness where mistook as passive aggression since my preschool .        

Backhanded compliments :

The ultimate socially acceptable means by which the passive aggressive person insults you to your core.

There are a lot of men out there who like plump women," chances are you know how much "joy" a passive aggressive compliment can bring.             

I was only joking 😒

Sarcasm is a common tool of a passive aggressive person who expresses his hostility aloud, but in socially acceptable, indirect ways. If you show that you are offended by biting, passive aggressive sarcasm, the hostile joke teller plays up his role as victim, asking, "Can't you take a joke?"    

       "Why are you getting so upset?"                   They are no less than masterminds at dissembling  shock when others, worn down by his indirect hostility, blow up in anger. In fact, he takes pleasure out of setting others up to lose their cool and then questioning their *overreactions*.     In a women's college I have dealt with dozens so far ... How about you?             Kbye 

Complaint sandwich

Hello

Ladies and gentlemen ... Momma and their beta's ! May I now proudly present to you , the most effective morsel of food you have been seeking all through your life - the complain sandwich . 

How do you get a blunt lad of yours to listen to your agony like the neighbouring aunty does ? Or explain your mum that you are fed up of the Bread and omelette everyday?

Here is an effective technique :

Whip up a "complaint sandwich." 

Start with an ear-opener—something that will help the recipient of the complaint become sympathetic. Add the meat—your actual request for redress of your grievances. Finish it off with a digestive—words that will increase the listener's motivation to help you. Short example: "I've been a customer of BSNL broadband for 5 years, and I've generally been happy with your service. Last month I noticed an extra charge on my account for a plan I had never asked for and I would like that removed. I would really appreciate your help with this.

For a better output : like a mayonnaise that makes it tastier :

Admit your part of the problem, if you do have some culpability in the matter. Your honesty will reflect positively on you, make your claims more believable, and perhaps even inspire some reciprocity

..

And remember 

Some complaints are simply not worth your time and trouble. Let them go.

Kbye.

Tadaa